Threads
by Cookie Creed
Summary: Major Gwen Hardy travels to Atlantis, leaving her favourite cousin behind. However, the more she thinks about it, she realises that she cares for him more than she thinks. When she returns to Earth and discovers he has a girlfriend, she may not be able to reconcile her feelings.


**Threads**

How does one pick up the threads of an old life?

I ask that question to myself as I read his email, my fingers trembling beyond all my control. Months ago, I would be able to control my reactions, but not now. Not now that I had learned the truth.

I am Major Gwen Hardy of the United States Air Force, twenty-nine years of age. For the past two years I was stationed on Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy. It was a great honour and I'd been excited to learn of the whole new galaxy that I could explore and belong to. On Atlantis I'd met many new friends and had so much fun…

But now, everything evaporated as I read his email. I clicked the close button and leant back in my chair, breathing deeply. Oh God. Why now? Why had he dropped the bomb on me just as I'd sorted out my feelings? I couldn't believe it had taken me two years to recognise my own emotions, but even though I had it was too late.

Before I had received the telegram that ordered me to Cheyenne Mountain, I was stationed in South Korea. During my break home in California I was sent to the Mountain and I was introduced to the Stargate Program. I was asked to be among the first group of people to go through the Stargate and into the galaxy. Of course I'd accepted. I'd gone and faced Wraith. I'd defended Atlantis from enemy attacks and bonded with the people who were in the same position as me. I met someone who had the same love for _Lord of the Rings_ as me.

Oh, it had been magical.

Of course, I'd been dating this guy called Peter for ten months. We were okay together, but I'd wanted more. When I told him that I would be gone for a year, he dumped me. It stung a bit. So I went to see Christopher, my closest friend, who was also my third cousin, who lived on the other side of California. I told him I had been dumped and why, and he'd comforted me. We got along great. I loved him and he loved me. We were great friends.

However, when I got to Atlantis, I found myself thinking of him more and more. I would long for his company and just him in general. I would dream about him and occasionally in my dreams we would kiss. Then I came to the realisation that I wanted to be more than friends with him. But he was my third cousin. That was just weird. But… it was legal to marry third cousins. It was just frowned upon for first cousins. Wait, how had I just jumped to marriage?

I thought long and hard about my own feelings. It was hard not being able to contact him for two years and tell him everything about Pegasus and Atlantis, but I managed. Oh, how I missed him. All I wanted was to tell him how I felt and have him feel the same to me in return. When I received the message that I was going home for the first time in two years, I was ecstatic. Never before had I been so eager to get home and express myself to him. This time would be different. So I'd applied through the SGC to have a private email sent to him, telling him that I would be home soon and that I missed him. It was passed through and sent to him.

So I got home a week later and jumped on my computer. Sure enough, I had a reply email, but it was not like I'd envisioned it.

_Hey Gwen,_

_It's great to hear from you! I think it's been, like two years or something since we last spoke. Hopefully you're having a good time where you're stationed. Marianne, my girlfriend is excited to meet you. We actually started going out just after you left._

_Come over on the 27__th__ for dinner, please! I'm making my famous roast!_

_With love from your favourite cousin,_

_Chris xoxo_

Oh… oh God. My heart skipped a beat and I couldn't focus my eyes. I was so stupid! Of course he would settle down with someone while I was gone! He was handsome, young, an amazing guy; of course he couldn't remain single forever. Why would I even think that I had a chance with him? There was no way he would accept my… no, I wouldn't use that term. It was futile.

I decided to cut my threads to him. Yes, I would go to dinner with him, but I would not catch myself thinking about my feelings. Instead I would eat, smile at Marianne and be polite and happy. After all, I was home. Hadn't I been talking about how excited I was to be going home for the past month? Now I was here, and I wanted to go back to Atlantis where I couldn't feel like this.

Unconsciously, I dressed to impress in a dress of black silk cut to accentuate my killer body and heels that made my long, muscular legs sexy. There was no way I could deny my feelings. We had been best friends since childhood and even though we hadn't seen each other much until our adult years, we'd remained firm friends. He hadn't had a girlfriend while we'd spent a lot of time together, and now that I wanted him, he had one. It was just my luck.

I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. He answered with his smile lighting up his handsome face. It was hard to keep my emotions in check

"Major Gwen Hardy," he said in a low voice.

"Christopher Hardy," I replied in an equally low voice. It was our signature greeting. The next moment we'd thrown our arms around each other in a bear hug. I could barely stop myself from crying.

"Come," he said, pulling away, "you have to meet Marianne."

He led me down the hallway I knew so well to the dining room, where a beautiful woman wearing expensive cashmere was setting the table. I could smell Chris' famous roast cooking away in the oven and it made my mouth water. He put his hand on my back and led me over to the woman.

"Gwen," he said, "this is Marianne. Marianne, Gwen."

"Pleased to meet you," Marianne smiled, holding out a perfectly manicured hand.

"Likewise," I said through clenched teeth, shaking her hand stiffly. Woah, stop it. Keep calm and don't stuff things up. Do this for Chris. I didn't know if he would be with her forever.

We chatted for a while and Marianne talked and talked about herself, her childhood, her life, her job, and her exes. It was tedious and I nodded off halfway through. Then Chris went and got his world-famous roast out of the oven and served us all. Marianne simply talked and talked, barely taking a breath or stopping to eat. She complained loudly that her dinner was cold after about an hour, but that was because she'd talked the entire time. I focussed on my food and ate silently, her voice becoming a dull murmur in the background.

Eventually, after we'd finished eating, Chris moved to the kitchen to do the washing up and Marianne continued to waffle on. I found my eyes wandering around to watch Chris as he worked. I watched the curve of his butt through his jeans, the way he twitched his mouth when he was amused, his clever fingers working in the soap suds, his gentle brown eyes watching Marianne tenderly. There was no way I could compete with that look in his eyes. I had to face that he loved her and I was fated to die forever alone. It was a depressing thought.

Finally I got a word in. "Hey, Chris, do you want to go to the movies with me?"

"Yeah, sure cuz," he grinned.

"Would you mind if I came?" Marianne said immediately. I glanced at her.

"Well, it's been two years since I got to hang out with Chris and I was hoping to spend some time with him," I said quickly.

"Oh, but I want to spend time with you too," Marianne said sadly. "Chris has told me so much about you and it would be a shame to not hang out with you."

"No, Mary, it's okay," Chris said gently.

"Okay," she said, pursing her lips. Then she glared at me. She actually glared. Oh God. She knew. She knew of my feelings and was fighting against them. However, she had every right to. I mean, she'd been with him for two years while I was in another galaxy!

Later that night when Chris hugged me goodbye, I caught her eyes boring into my face with an expression of intense dislike on her face.

This wasn't a good place to be. I wished dearly to be in Atlantis again, but I knew that once I was back there I would want to go back to Earth so I could talk to Chris again. He obviously didn't know of Marianne's behaviour towards me. She was possessive and clingy and clearly jealous of the way Chris and I were so familiar. Every time I saw them together it would pain me inside.

Two weeks later, I was given the call and told to be at the SGC in twenty hours. I knew I had to say goodbye to Chris and tell him that I would be gone for another year, but I wasn't looking forward to the hurt reflected on his face when he heard the news. It wasn't my choice to be there. My job assured it.

I pulled up outside of his house and walked up the steps slowly. When I knocked my heart was heavy and I prepared myself for his rejection. The door opened and Chris stood there in shorts and a t-shirt, fuddled with sleep.

"Hey Gwen," he yawned, rubbing his hair, "what's got you here so early?"

"I'm going," I said. "The General is calling me back for another year."

There was the hurt. "You're going again?"

"Yeah; it pisses me off, but I have to go."

I heard Marianne's voice calling Chris back to bed, but this time he ignored her. All his attention was focussed on me.

"But… I don't want you to go," he said in a small voice. "It was horrible without you here. Where are you even going?

My heart melted. "Come outside," I said. "I'm about to tell you something classified. He came outside and stood with me on the grass. "I work for Stargate Command in Cheyenne Mountain. The Stargate is a round alien object that allows us to travel to other planets – even other galaxies. I work in a galaxy called the Pegasus Galaxy in a place called Atlantis. It's billions of light years away and that's why I'm gone for so long."

He was silent. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, and I'm not crazy."

"Oh, I don't think you're crazy. That actually sounds like so much fun! Have you met any aliens?"

"Only the Wraith and they're a pretty evil race. I've killed a couple too."

His face was filled with awe instead of hurt. "Make sure you take some pictures and show me when you're back next. I want to hear all about it."

"You believe me?"

"Well, you don't lie to me, so of course I do."

I was elated. He now knew the truth. It couldn't hurt to let him know of my feelings. I leant in and put my lips to his ear, whispering "I love you."

Then I was gone, leaving him staring after me in confusion.

For my next year on Atlantis, all I thought about was him. It drove me to the edge of insanity and distraction. I told one of my good friends about it and she was concerned because he was my third cousin.

"Doesn't that mean you're related?" she asked.

"It's perfectly legal," I replied, "but it is not gonna happen if Marianne is still sticking to him like a leech."

"Ugh, that's disgusting," she agreed.

"I'm one hundred per cent sure that I'm jealous," I said.

"Oh, you poor thing."

But how does one pick up the threads of an old life? Atlantis wasn't the same this time. It wasn't as friendly and resilient as it had been for the first two years. This time I was wrestling with the thought that he knew of my feelings, hopefully, but I didn't know how he would react to them. The prolonged separation while I was in another galaxy didn't work wonders either and it was all I could do to not run through the Stargate during every scheduled check-in, go back to Earth and find out what he thought. Since when had a man become the very centre of my thoughts? I guess it would have been when I'd fallen in love with him.

I turned thirty not long before I returned to Earth. If Chris returned my feelings, then I would apply to be stationed at the SGC instead of Atlantis during the next term of my service. Hopefully he would, and I would stay.

My heart was in my throat as I walked up the path to his house a few days after I'd got back from Atlantis. Even my feet were beginning to feel heavy, but I dragged them up the stairs to rest on the porch. I took a deep breath and knocked. Shortly after, he came outside with an apron that said "Older, wiser, sexier" on the front. He looked tired, but grinned widely when he saw me.

"Gwen! Come in! I was just baking some cookies. Tell me of your time in Pegasus!"

We went inside and I sat while he mixed the cookie dough and arranged them on pans, explaining my last year in Atlantis. I told him about meeting Ancients, fighting Wraith, developing a cure for the Wraith and much more. He listened in awe and didn't seem to be thinking of the last thing I'd said to him before I'd left. It was like he was enjoying his cousin's arrival back home.

"That sounds like you had so much fun!" he said mournfully, tugging off his apron. His brown eyes sparkled with humour.

"Where's Marianne?" I asked, peering around the room. His expression wavered.

"She left me a couple months ago," he said. "I'm not too cut up about it but being dumped does things to the ego."

"Yeah, I know."

We were silent for a moment and the alarm for the cookies rang out.

"Could you open the oven?" he asked. I stood and opened the oven while he slid the oven mitts over his hands and pulled out the tray. He carefully laid both trays on their racks and stood back, admiring his two batches of cookies that sat so proudly on the bench.

"Now," he said, "I do believe there's something we had to discuss."

Dread filled me. "What's that?"

"You said before you left that you loved me. What did you mean?"

"Well, um, I just, it's kinda, um-"

I was prevented from answering when he swooped forward and claimed my lips with his. I tried to pull away but he grabbed the back of my head and crushed his mouth against mine. Oh God. It was so much better than my dreams. His lips were soft and yielding, moulding into my own, and his hands were running down my back, pushing me into him. Our bodies were pressed together, fitting into every crevice, and his tongue ran over the inside of my lips. Mmm. He was a good kisser.

"What took you so long?" I whispered against his mouth.

"I don't know," he replied, kissing me with all his heart and soul. I lost track of time but eventually our lips parted and he pressed his forehead against mine tenderly.

"I didn't think it would take you nine years to pick up my hints," he sighed.

"Honestly, I didn't think you would feel the same."

"You kidding? I've loved you for so long I can't remember when I started loving you. Wow, this is weird."

"Weird that I'm your cousin?"

"Yes."

"I don't care." He leaned in and kissed me again, pushing me back against the bench. "I hated it when I saw you with Peter. I was so jealous it hurt. When he dumped you I was secretly glad."

"It was the same when I saw you with Marianne," I breathed. "All I wanted was to smack her away and claim you as mine."

He moaned and kissed my neck, making me gasp. His hands played with the band of my jeans and my eyes widened.

"It doesn't have to be now," he said, seeing my expression. I felt a wave of gratitude and kissed him lightly, savouring the feel of his lips.

"No matter how much I might want to, I don't feel ready," I admitted.

"You're not that kind of girl," he grinned, "and that's why I love you." He took my hand and led me over to the cookies, giving me one to try. "We have a long time ahead of us, and I fully intend to marry you."

I'd never gone for the guy who thought that we would marry and have kids and all that stuff, but with Chris I felt like that was our future. He was my thread to ground me and keep me sane. Oh, God, what would I be without him?

I applied for reassignment and it was accepted. Now I worked at the SGC and remained on Earth for my duration, except for when I occasionally went off world. I knew I would miss Atlantis for the rest of my life, and it had been a wonderful time, but my place was by Chris' side.

And it would be, forever more.


End file.
